Choosing and Using Technology

Sep 20, 2026 | Family Resources

Choosing and Using Technology

Choosing technology for a child is rarely one decision. You are deciding what it should help them do, what support will surround it, and how your family will know when the choice needs to change. This page will help you compare first-phone and watch options, set up practical boundaries, and talk with your child about games, social media, and AI. If something has already happened online and you need help responding, go directly to the Help and Resources for Families page.

I name specific products on this page to give families a place to begin comparing what is available. Their inclusion is not a recommendation or endorsement. Features, plans, prices, and privacy practices change, so review each company’s current information and decide what fits your child and family.

Start With What You Need

Begin with the thing your family is already noticing. Maybe everyone wants fewer arguments at bedtime. Maybe your child needs a way to reach you after practice. Maybe you want to understand your own habits before creating expectations for anyone else. Naming that need gives you a clearer place to begin.

  • Screen Time Calculator — Turn a daily screen-time number into a picture of how much time it represents across a week, a year, and the years ahead. Begin with your own habits, then decide whether you want to explore it with your family.
  • Family Screen Time Agreement — Create shared expectations around protected moments, where devices sleep, what happens when it is time to stop, and how your family will respond when something goes wrong. Build it together so everyone has a voice in what you create.
  • The American Academy of Pediatrics 5 Cs of Media Use — Think about the child, the content, how they use media to calm, what media may be crowding out, and the communication surrounding it.
  • AAP Family Media Plan — Turn family priorities into routines around devices, sleep, meals, movement, and time together.

PAUSE

PAUSE is a simple way to slow down and look more closely at the role technology is playing in your family’s life. Adults and young people can use these five questions to reflect on a device, app, game, platform, or habit. Each person can answer from their own experience:

  • P — Purpose. Why am I reaching for this?
  • A — Add. What is it giving me?
  • U — User. How do I feel while I’m using it?
  • S — Subtract. What is it replacing or displacing?
  • E — Evaluate. Was it worth the time and attention I gave it?

You can use PAUSE before adding something new and return to it after the technology has become part of everyday life. The answers can help your family notice what is working, talk honestly about what may need to change, and make choices that reflect what matters to you.

 

Understand What Your Child Is Using

The most useful resource is often one that helps you understand the specific digital space where your child spends time. Learn how it works, ask what they enjoy about it, and look together at privacy settings, who can contact them, whether purchases are available, and how to block or report a problem. These conversations help your child recognize concerns, make thoughtful choices, and know when to come to you, even as apps and platforms change.

  • Common Sense Media Reviews — Independent age-based reviews and family guides for games, apps, social media, first phones, parental controls, films, books, and AI tools.
  • ConnectSafely Parent Guides — Plain-language guides to popular platforms, privacy, security, cyberbullying, gaming, social media, and family technology.
  • Raising Good Gamers — Resources for understanding children’s gaming experiences and supporting safer, kinder, and more meaningful play.
  • ESRB Ratings and Family Gaming Guidance — Look beyond the age rating to the content descriptors and Interactive Elements, including whether users interact, purchases are offered, or location is shared.

 

AI With Children and Teenagers

AI can be useful for brainstorming, organizing ideas, practicing a skill, receiving feedback, exploring possibilities, or hearing an explanation in another way. The right role depends on the child, their developmental level, the purpose of the activity, and whether they have enough foundational knowledge to evaluate the response. When AI extends thinking a young person is already learning to do, it can create access and possibility. When it steps in before that foundation has been built, it can replace the practice that helps the skill develop.

AI literacy also includes understanding why some interactions can feel deeply personal. AI companions and other chatbots can respond instantly, remember details, mirror someone’s tone, and keep a conversation going. They can sound caring without being capable of care, sound confident when they are wrong, and agree with something that should be questioned. Explore AI together and talk about what it can help with, what information should remain private, how important answers will be checked, and which conversations need a person. Make sure your child knows who they can turn to when they need care, judgment, or support that an AI tool cannot provide.

 

Create Helpful Boundaries

Start with the tools already built into the devices your family owns. Decide what routine you want the setting to support: sleep, fewer interruptions, safer content, purchase approval, or a clearer stopping point. Then choose the smallest setting that helps. Children should know what adults can see, what is being limited, and what the boundary is protecting.

  • Apple Screen Time and Parental Controls — Manage apps and websites, communication, schedules, purchases, content restrictions, and privacy settings on a child’s iPhone or iPad through Family Sharing.
  • Google Family Link — Manage apps, schedules, content settings, screen time, and location on supported Android devices, Chromebooks, and Fitbit Ace LTE. Most Family Link supervision tools do not work when a child uses an iPhone or iPad.
  • Microsoft Family Safety — Set schedules and screen-time limits for connected Windows, Xbox, and Android devices. Mobile screen-time limits currently apply only to Android devices.
  • Your home router or internet provider may offer another useful layer, including schedules, filters, and the ability to pause internet access for a particular device. Search the support page for the exact router or service you already use before paying for something new.

If the Built-In Tools Are Not Enough

Paid services such as Bark, Net Nanny, Qustodio, and Aura offer different combinations of filtering, schedules, location tools, activity reports, and alerts. Compare what each service can monitor on your child’s specific device, what information it collects, what happens when an app or operating system changes, and how much it will cost over time. Explain to your child what the service can see and what concern you are asking it to address. Visibility can support safety, especially when a child is younger or gaining access to something new. As their access and independence increase, the balance can gradually shift from monitoring toward mentoring: talking through what they encounter, helping them think through difficult moments, and building the judgment they will carry with them.

 

When You Need More Help Pausing

Start with the free settings already built into your phone or device. Turn off notifications you do not need, schedule Focus or Do Not Disturb, move tempting apps off the home screen, or set limits around the times you want to protect. These small changes can help adults and young people create more space between the impulse to open an app and the moment it opens.

If the built-in settings are too easy to move past, app-based tools such as One Sec, ScreenZen, Clearspace, Opal, and Freedom can add a pause, schedule blocks, or limit selected apps and websites. If you need a stronger stopping point, Brick and Bloom pair blocking software with a physical object, so reopening selected apps requires an additional step. Choose the level of support that helps the person using the device follow through on what they intended to do.

 

Choosing a First Phone or Watch

A child may need to call after practice, check in from a sleepover, or move between two homes without needing a smartphone, social media, or every app at once. A home phone, basic phone, bridge phone, or connected watch may meet that communication need while allowing other decisions to wait.

Questions to ask before you choose:

  • What communication problem are we trying to solve?
  • Which features does my child genuinely need now, and which ones can wait?
  • Who can contact my child, and who can my child contact?
  • Can web browsing, app downloads, group chats, purchases, and location sharing be limited or turned off?
  • What information does the company collect, and how can I delete it?
  • What will the device and service cost over time?
  • Can we change plans, move to another carrier, or use the device with a different service?
  • How will we introduce the device, where will it sleep, and what will tell us the child is ready for more access?
  • How does the child’s school treat phones and connected watches during the school day?

Home-Based Calling

  • Tin Can — A Wi-Fi-enabled home phone built around voice calls. Parents approve contacts and can set quiet hours. The device does not offer a screen, apps, texting, games, or open web browsing. Calling regular phone numbers requires the company’s paid plan.

Basic Portable Phones

A flip phone or limited-feature phone can provide calling and texting with fewer apps and online features. Availability changes by carrier, so ask your current provider which basic phones can use your plan and whether group texting, picture messaging, location sharing, web access, purchases, and app downloads can be limited. A basic-looking phone may still include a browser, so check the actual settings before assuming it is internet-free.

Bridge Phones

Bridge phones give families more control over which features are available and when additional access is added.

  • Bark Phone — Offers parent-managed contacts, app access, schedules, location tools, and content-monitoring features. Available controls vary by plan, so compare the starter and advanced options carefully.
  • Pinwheel — A caregiver-managed phone system that allows adults to choose from an approved app library and add access over time. Check compatible devices, carrier choices, and the current app catalog.
  • Troomi — A managed phone option with calling, messaging, location, and parent-selected features that can expand as a child is ready.
  • Gabb Phone — A child-focused phone with restricted features and parent tools. Compare the current device, plan, messaging, app access, and monitoring options with other bridge phones before choosing.

Cellular Watches

  • Apple Watch For Your Kids — Allows a child without their own iPhone to call, message, and share location through a supported cellular Apple Watch managed from a parent’s iPhone. Device requirements, carrier support, and available features can vary.
  • Verizon Gizmo Watch — A connected watch with parent-approved contacts, calling and messaging, location tools, and a school mode. It requires compatible Verizon service.
  • Gabb Watch — A child-focused connected watch with parent-managed contacts, calling, messaging, and location features. Review the current plan and features before purchasing.

Turn the Conversation Into an Agreement

When you are ready to turn these choices into shared expectations, use the Family Screen Time Agreement. It will help your family decide which moments are protected, where devices sleep, what happens when it is time to stop, and how you will respond when something goes wrong. Build it together so everyone has a voice in what you create.

Family Screen Time Agreement